Four years

Four years ago today I married the woman that is now my pillion. Four years that have been far from smooth. Four years that has demanded change from a person that resists change like a brick wall resists wind.

I'm not sure if you can tell, but I never thought I would end up married. I always thought the expense was silly for a simple piece of paper that says we are together. But regardless of my thoughts and beliefs here I am, four years later, bound by a piece of paper and all manner of things that I don't believe in.

Saying that things haven't been smooth is a bit of an understatement. It's been pretty damn rough and for the most part, I've been the root cause of it all. My nature is to be resistant, hard headed, and solitary. I am an only child and while not spoiled, I certainly was able to have my way and spent a lot of my time alone doing things that I wanted to do. I detest having people relying and being dependant on me and I hate being proded into making decisions.

Can you get a hint of what I'm like to live with?

Well, my fellow rider through this pot hole laden life, has held onto that pillion and weathered through it all. She has put up with every storm that I've thrown her way and even made a few of her own which have changed me and my views.

At one point we had almost taken separate roads, but the introduction of a rather sleek mistress changed that. Selene glided into the picture on a rather mundane trip to the local dealership. Oh, and get this...it wasn't my idea. How many men can actually say their wife encouraged them, nigh pushed them into getting a motorcycle? If you can be counted among those, consider yourself lucky...as I'm sure you do.

Selene was originally going to be my transportation as I went my separate way, but she seemed to steer me in another direction. She gave me the ability to disappear and dwell in my own little world. The chance to get away from everything and make it not exist if only for a few hours. She became my decompression tank and I left many a mile of stress behind while riding.

After that, things got better. A long distance ride that was supposed to be solo ended up being two up. She braved a stock seat and miserable weather on a ride to Ontario and back not being able to talk to anyone while moving and thoroughly enjoyed it. That ride put a link between us again and harkened back to the days when the only transportation we had was a motorcycle.

Mind you, things aren't perfect. We still have our problems and I still have my times, but I'm working on it. I'm happy to be where I am and I'm happy to be with her. Believe me, that's a long way from where I was not too long ago.

Looks like one loud, well designed machine did more than one over paid shrink could ever do.

Here's to us! And here is to the mistress that showed me the way.

the year's past

wow, another year gone and so much has changed. this year has seen it's fair share of ups and downs, believe me.

the year started in the middle of my marrige spiraling downhill. i was in a slump, a bad one. one of my worst by far. it happens to me every now and then and most times i can squash it, but that time...i needed a change and if i didn't get it, all hell was going to break loose. i shunned the people closest to me, i took so many days off work that i ran out of sick time before the end of january and i was generally self destructive. it wasn't a good time for all involved as you can well guess. this was all carried over from last year and joey can attest to the type of ass i was being. i guess the experts would have called it a "mid life crisis", but i'm not much into the experts. i refused to see anyone (that's normal for me) and vowed to figure things out myself.

things that didn't help me out were:

living in an apartment that was below ground
joey had a depressed time and clung to me

the two of these issues made me feel trapped and i don't like feeling trapped (not like anyone does, really). i couldn't really go outside because we had no back yard and going out in car meant that joey wanted to go as well. yeah, it was a bad time for me. so i found other escapes...one of them being world of warcraft. i won't say i got addicted to that game (i'm a gamer, i love games), but i will say that it was the perfect escape for me. so everything else got ignored.

near the end of february i started coming out of my slump and thoughts of divorce were in my mind a bit less. around that time, joey started pushing me to get a bike for my own transportation. so i guess my "mid life crisis" was squashed by a little out doors time. after that, things got steadily better.

in the summer, we moved and the new apartment was great. we got a veranda, a view, and a really quiet area. it was pretty much perfect.

after that, things steadily got better. i invited joey to a trip that i had intended to take myself and it ended up being quite a bonding experience. there's really nothing like taking a motorcycle trip. just two riders and two wheels. i really don't think i could have made it without her. having her share the experience of almost running out of gas, riding with a nail in the rear tire, riding in the rain, freezing to death trying to find a hotel...any hotel. an experience that i would have traded for nothing and hope to do again.

keep in mind that was a short synopsis and i haven't gone into detail about everything, but it covers most of the bases.

thank you 2006 for bringing so much change into my life and giving me the guts to do what is right.

here's to changes, good or bad and the company of people who love you.
Happy New Year to you all.

wet.

the weather is killing me. last night we had heavy rain and lightning and today is just wet and gloomy. the most thing that i can do is look out the window at my very wet bike and shake my head at the fact that i STILL don't have a cover for her. should be here by mid next week though and it better damn well be water proof.

in other news, dad's "dogs" are gone and he seems to be doing fine. he has been taking longer trips out of the house and is now learning to control his "water". if you don't know what i mean, look up some of the drawbacks of having your prostate removed. it's interesting how much that little organ does.

the weekend.

Myself and Selene
Originally uploaded by giest.

most of this week has been crap. just ugly weather and no, i still don't have a cover for her. not being able to ride doesn't really make a difference though. she is due for her regular maintenance check up and i can't ride her until tomorrow. she was supposed to go in at the 1000 Km mark, but a trip to Sussex to visit my parents added a few more kilometers then i expected. i'm currently at 1500 Km or so. ooops. so now she is parked until tomorrow morning...which happens to be forecasted for scattered showers.

the weekend was great. my dad seems to be doing really well. he has a nurse that checks on him every day and he is up and moving about. they replaced his bags (or dogs as mom calls them) with smaller ones that are out of the way. his biggest problem is with his back. he has had back problems for quite some time now, being a trucker and all. so now it's hitting him in spades.

speaking of the weekend. it was great on bike. sunday was an impecable day. very warm and very calm. once i cleaned her up a bit, it was riding time. we drove all around sussex and the back roads throwing out many waves and greetings to all the other riders out enjoying the sun. i think i waved to the same guy at least four times. we passed by the local Tim Horton's and the congregation gathered there blew me away. there were so many bikes there, i lost count. i bellowed back to my wife and asked if we had any cash. the reply was no. oh well, another ride then. off to the local bank we went to get some cash.

i pulled up and she hopped off to get the money. in the meantime, at least five bikes went by and there were three parked in the bank parking lot. two H-Ds and a Yamaha...i believe.

once we got the money, it was off to Tim's. i got my usual, an ice cap and she got an orange juice and a doughnut. we just sat in the sun and admired all the bikes. checking out what everyone else had done to theirs and discussing what we would like to have done to Selene (my bike).

when we finished up looking, it was a short ride to a friend's house to show off Selene and back to my parents place. we didn't stay long as it was already getting dark and i didn't want it too cool off too much. it's an hour long drive back down to Rothesay and that can get quite cold when it's dark.

on the way through Hampton, she suggested stopping in at Holly's Restaurant to get a bite to eat. i was hesitant because it was getting late, but my grumbling stomach made the decision for me.

we finished up and hit the road again. surprisingly, even though it was dark, it stayed quite warm. it made for a nice casual drive home that only left me slightly chilled.

like i said, it was a beautiful weekend for a drive and i can't wait until the weather gets warmer so that me and Selene can have a few longer adventures.

the hospital.

With a sister 02
Originally uploaded by giest.

here she is, parked next to a sister. A white Shadow Spirit.

i was at the hospital visiting my dad, who is doing great. he had his surgery Friday morning and things went off without a hitch. as of now, he is able to get out of bed and walk around without too much trouble. he's going rather stir crazy though, not a hell of a lot to be doing in there...other then just lie there.

so here i am.

back for another round of this blog thing. took a little break there to clear my head a bit and find a new look for the blog itself.

things have been...bearable and things have changed. a relationship desolved and there is renewed hope for one that i thought was lost. my father hasn't gone in for his surgery yet, but will in the next week. i have a new bike, in case you haven't noticed. it's my new found freedom and is giving me a reason to be out of the house more often. there is going to be a move, but it will be me and my wife. a bigger place closer to town in a nice quiet area. a new trip is planned for around the middle of summer. going to take the bike for a nice long ride and see some sights. i've never done it before, so it should be a lot of fun. i've all but quit my online game...just isn't as much fun as it used to be. i'm finding that i don't miss it at all. so much for addiction...hehe.

i set up a flickr account as well, so i can post pictures. should be great for when i hit the road. i'll be able to upload lots of pictures. it's a nice upgrade to using my personal server which was more then a little slow. i can use it for other pictures as well. right now, it's for my bike...hehe.

that's about it for now, just had to put a few random thoughts down to keep things updated.

another day.

so dad seems to be taking things ok. it's hard to tell though...i'm a lot like him so i know he is bottling all of it up inside. i was down to my parents place over the weekend and mom came out and asked me, "so what do you think of dad's situation?" i was blank. i didn't know how to answer that at all. all i could say was, "i don't know what to think, mom." and i don't. i don't have any idea how to handle this. being faced with anything that could endanger the mortality of my parents really throws me for a loop. so i tend to not think of it. you know...my usual thing...pretend it doesn't exist. guess it must be some kind of coping mechanism. i want to go visit again this coming weekend, but when i was leaving last weekend...i almost broke down when giving my dad a hug...

on the plus side, if all goes right, i'll be signing the papers for my new vehicle this friday. i'll finally have my own transportation again...i can't wait. i've already got a road trip planned out for early to mid may. all i have to do is book the vacation time and gather up some travel money. hopefully i'll have the money to get it registered and insured. heh, i had the money to get the vehicle, but not the insurance.

i'm in a extraordinary amount of pain today...i was yesterday as well. my right hip is acting up again and i'm finding it very difficult to walk at all. just getting out of bed was a chore and i've been walking with a slight limp all day. i hate having to take pain killers this early in the morning, but i don't have much of a choice. sitting in the stupid office chairs at work is painful enough. well, at least i don't have to move much when i'm working...ugh.

down.

i'm a little off kilter right now, so you'll have to forgive me. my day hasn't been the best and things are bringing me down.

it's my father's birthday today and as usual, i forgot. mom called me earlier to remind me so that i could give him a call while he is out on in the truck. otherwise i wouldn't get to talk to him until the weekend. in the process she mentions that she has bad news. it would have been nice to have been asked if i was sitting down...cause i wasn't. "dad has prostate cancer." she says...knocking me to the nearest seat. apparently they caught it in the early stages, but they don't want to do the radiation thing. they want to do surgery to make sure that they get it all. if they do the radiation first, they wouldn't be able to go ahead withsurgery later if it shows up again. as you can probably tell...i'm worried.

a lot of things have not gone the way i would have like them to, over the last little while. i can only hope that things get better and that the rest of my plans don't go belly up.

i need some sleep...have to clear my head.